Settling in

I'm finally done with the busy busy travelling and settling back into my own space.  I had forgotten how wonderful this is. Now, i'm planning, preparing, and just building much much excitement for my most beloved upcoming holiday... which i'm sure all of you easily can guess.  ^_^
I already have my costume for Halloween! I'm also throwing a tea party on Mad Hatter's Day for myself and my other "crazy" friends which involves a tad bit of costuming.  So I have a bit a head of me.

Now you may or may not know that I am new to this path.  I suppose you could say i've been studying for about 4 years, practicing for almost 2.  I've got a lot to learn, and in turn am learning things about myself that were a bit hidden.  One of those things was brought clear to me by a Pagan Centered Podcast I decided to listen to to pass the time while I was on a plane (one of many this summer/winter for me).  That statement is quite simple:  People are afraid of being wrong because they're afraid of seeming stupid.  (I'm sure there are some people who aren't like this, but I am for simplicity's purposes making a broad generalization.)  This generalization though applies to me.

With the label of being accelerated and intelligent, I suppose I have felt this pressure to know about anything I speak of.  Really though--this is not the case, it's very hard to do, and quite frankly makes life a bit dull.  But, because of that fear I will not talk about something in conversation or voice my thoughts because i'm afraid of not knowing the truth or that the person might be more experienced, think something else, and accuse me of being wrong.  Thus leading me to feeling stupid and embarrassed.  Hm... how do I overcome this?  I love researching so much, so i'm not sure where I could improve in that area without becoming a full time resident to its prowess.  So, i'm taking a stab at either expressing me thoughts AND expressing my "fears." By fears I mean things that I know I don't know a lot about, but want to learn, instead of being quiet and not admitting whether I'm knowledgeable or not.

That was long and done with half of my first cup of coffee for the morning.  But, now I must be off for my first day of classes for this year.  Let's hope it's even better than the last!  I just thought i'd try and post to kick off this academic year.  Ching ching! For better health, more learning, organization, and the proud feeling of accomplishment!

Verona

Divvying it up

Another conflict I often face is time management.  I'm sure it's been something hammered into our heads time and time again.   But let me talk this out at least one more time.  

With so many interests and so little attention span, how do I do all the things I love ( and don't love) in one day, or one week for that matter?  I don't, I forget the things I need to do or shove the things I love out of the way, and over all I get completely overwhelmed which causes me to shut down and think I have nothing to do.  It's difficult for us who have a lot of interests and not enough routine, whether we like it or not.  I for one love spontaneity but find that a certain amount of routine helps me give most things the attention the need, day by day.

I had a piano teacher who once told me words I now live by:  You can do anything, just not everything.  Now, the way I take this, is not everything at the same time.  :)  I still try to do what I can.

With the tides of interest, necessities of society, and our own personal commitments.  How do we get everything done?  Then, how do we give more time to ourselves? ...And still make it to bed and back awake in time.

Verona
 

Back in Action

I've been off for a while due to traveling, but am back and brewing up new things to talk about.

To keep the post from being in vain, I will say this much for now:

I'm quite discouraged by the more available pagan/spiritual/wiccan books out there.  After reading a lot, I'm just seeing the same thing over and over again.  It's encouraged me to not look to the writing of someone else, but look again and really focus on what's written inside of me to continue to find my path... as corny as that sounds.  But really, is that what spirituality is all about? --The introspection... that's after all one of the biggest and most repeated thing you will find amongst most of the books regarding pagan spirituality in general, regardless of which religion.  I would like to believe that it's stressed in all religions, but I can't make that claim.

So my question(s)... Do books really help us?  Are they a good substitute for a teacher?  Can we and whatever spirits alone truly be our own guide, or do we on the rational physical level need something more material to help us...

Verona

Interesting Links

As promised... Here are some links that I've collected and found interesting.

An organized sort of "lesson plan" that has some useful information in it

http://web.archive.org/web/20031216024718/whywiccanssuck.com/learn0.html

And the front page of the website, take it as you wish.  : P

http://web.archive.org/web/20030621193239/whywiccanssuck.com/index.html

Basic Rune stuff, not really an area of expertise so perhaps some of you can help me on this one. 

www.earthwitchery.com/runes.html

I do like this site.... 

http://wildhunt.org/blog/2010/05/a-trip-around-the-pagan-blogosphere.html

A free tarot program that downloads to your computer.  Not the same as the real thing, but it has it's own benefits as well.  Quite well designed, I enjoy it.  : )

http://www.orphalese.net/index.aspx?chosenculture=en

A nice essay/study about Morgan Le Fay 

http://www.angelfire.com/journal/ofapoet/morgan.html

A good site for any one in Tarot I think...  

http://www.learntarot.com/top.htm

And for those of you interested in herbs, here's a cool little thing on how not to use them. 

http://www.personalhealthzone.com/herbsafety.html

Anyway, I hope you can use some of this.  I'll collect some more when my eyelids aren't failing me.  

Perhaps some of you have something to share to?  Let me know!

Verona

Creativity Splurrge

Yes, splurrge with two Rs.  I'm dizzy from it!  It's been an incredible day of painting.  I'm simultaneously working on three paintings (watercolor) switching to the next as one dries.  It's such a wonderful feeling!

Coming up with another post for tonight before all my creativity goes to sleep.
Verona

I realize that I haven’t done any posts on Tarot.  Shame on me. 

Being that I’m quite new, I wouldn’t expect much of me, but I’m just using this to log my experiences and things I find concerning Tarot such as spreads or new decks that I like. 

So I found this spread from the Newsletter from Tarotschool.com and thought I would give it a shot.

The Spiritual Path Spread:

Position 1: What you need to pay attention to at this time.

Position 2: The current challenge.

Position 3: The hidden influence.

Position 4: Current lesson

Position 5: What not to focus on

Position 6: The next step

Now it didn’t specify any particular position, so I did somewhat of a pentagon/pentagram/circle shape with the 6^th card being in the middle, being the geek I am.

The results I came up with were actually really surprising! It was very thought provoking, and brought up some insightful things that I wasn’t admitting to myself.  So overall, this is a good one that I’m saving in my journal.   

( Page of Cups card from Paulina Tarot Deck.) 

Random thought

My eyes show who I am no matter what color they’re painted. When a person evaluates my character, they can look at a number of things to judge what I like, what I do, hold old I am, my intelligence, and my way of life.  I find that a lot of people in my experience will use the clothes I wear, the shoes I wear, how I walk, how I might do my makeup, how my hair looks, etc. Through these indicators, they will judge me.  Are these good indicators?  Well it depends; I can easily dress and “look” how I know myself and how other people know me.  But I can also look completely different from that and still be content.  What should one do then?  Look at me. I’ve met a few people who look past whatever covers me and they tell me things about myself that not many other people might recognize.  They look in and past my eyes and see whatever it is that makes me who I am, that one can only explain through what they think is true.  Nothing has proven this “identity” and what makes it what it is, it’s just something that is understood individually. 

Verona