Settling in

I'm finally done with the busy busy travelling and settling back into my own space.  I had forgotten how wonderful this is. Now, i'm planning, preparing, and just building much much excitement for my most beloved upcoming holiday... which i'm sure all of you easily can guess.  ^_^
I already have my costume for Halloween! I'm also throwing a tea party on Mad Hatter's Day for myself and my other "crazy" friends which involves a tad bit of costuming.  So I have a bit a head of me.

Now you may or may not know that I am new to this path.  I suppose you could say i've been studying for about 4 years, practicing for almost 2.  I've got a lot to learn, and in turn am learning things about myself that were a bit hidden.  One of those things was brought clear to me by a Pagan Centered Podcast I decided to listen to to pass the time while I was on a plane (one of many this summer/winter for me).  That statement is quite simple:  People are afraid of being wrong because they're afraid of seeming stupid.  (I'm sure there are some people who aren't like this, but I am for simplicity's purposes making a broad generalization.)  This generalization though applies to me.

With the label of being accelerated and intelligent, I suppose I have felt this pressure to know about anything I speak of.  Really though--this is not the case, it's very hard to do, and quite frankly makes life a bit dull.  But, because of that fear I will not talk about something in conversation or voice my thoughts because i'm afraid of not knowing the truth or that the person might be more experienced, think something else, and accuse me of being wrong.  Thus leading me to feeling stupid and embarrassed.  Hm... how do I overcome this?  I love researching so much, so i'm not sure where I could improve in that area without becoming a full time resident to its prowess.  So, i'm taking a stab at either expressing me thoughts AND expressing my "fears." By fears I mean things that I know I don't know a lot about, but want to learn, instead of being quiet and not admitting whether I'm knowledgeable or not.

That was long and done with half of my first cup of coffee for the morning.  But, now I must be off for my first day of classes for this year.  Let's hope it's even better than the last!  I just thought i'd try and post to kick off this academic year.  Ching ching! For better health, more learning, organization, and the proud feeling of accomplishment!

Verona

Divvying it up

Another conflict I often face is time management.  I'm sure it's been something hammered into our heads time and time again.   But let me talk this out at least one more time.  

With so many interests and so little attention span, how do I do all the things I love ( and don't love) in one day, or one week for that matter?  I don't, I forget the things I need to do or shove the things I love out of the way, and over all I get completely overwhelmed which causes me to shut down and think I have nothing to do.  It's difficult for us who have a lot of interests and not enough routine, whether we like it or not.  I for one love spontaneity but find that a certain amount of routine helps me give most things the attention the need, day by day.

I had a piano teacher who once told me words I now live by:  You can do anything, just not everything.  Now, the way I take this, is not everything at the same time.  :)  I still try to do what I can.

With the tides of interest, necessities of society, and our own personal commitments.  How do we get everything done?  Then, how do we give more time to ourselves? ...And still make it to bed and back awake in time.

Verona
 

Back in Action

I've been off for a while due to traveling, but am back and brewing up new things to talk about.

To keep the post from being in vain, I will say this much for now:

I'm quite discouraged by the more available pagan/spiritual/wiccan books out there.  After reading a lot, I'm just seeing the same thing over and over again.  It's encouraged me to not look to the writing of someone else, but look again and really focus on what's written inside of me to continue to find my path... as corny as that sounds.  But really, is that what spirituality is all about? --The introspection... that's after all one of the biggest and most repeated thing you will find amongst most of the books regarding pagan spirituality in general, regardless of which religion.  I would like to believe that it's stressed in all religions, but I can't make that claim.

So my question(s)... Do books really help us?  Are they a good substitute for a teacher?  Can we and whatever spirits alone truly be our own guide, or do we on the rational physical level need something more material to help us...

Verona